Kahli, Australia
Since I started having periods at age 15, no two have been the same. The only common factor is severe pain. Sometimes it happens a week in advance, sometimes an hour, but it is always excruciating. Until two months ago, I didn't have a diagnosis - but now I have an answer. Prior to my diagnosis and the nature of my pain, it was difficult for me to work at all when it was at its worst. The only relief is over the counter migraine medication that puts me straight to sleep, if it works fast enough. Otherwise, I will be nauseous, feverish, vomiting and crying from the cramps and sever back pain. I have lost jobs, income, friends, missed out of social obligations, shows, holidays - you name it. Even now my boss has suggested I resign because I am "too unreliable", despite keeping them abreast of my condition. It is devastating and infuriating to be told this when I am trying so hard to figure out what is wrong with me. Dealing with chronic pain is perpetually difficult and the only people who truly understand are others who experience chronic pain. People may say they understand, until your pain interferes with them, then all sincerity and softness disappears. You are suddenly a burden. The shame and guilt is so heavy and it is a vicious cycle that impacts so heavily on your self-esteem. The only thing you can be sure of is that you will be in pain. Bleak, undoubtedly but I believe this statement to be true for me.